


One Step Forward

by JosephineStone



Category: Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling
Genre: M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-03-20
Updated: 2014-03-20
Packaged: 2018-01-15 23:30:54
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 6,183
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1323331
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/JosephineStone/pseuds/JosephineStone
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Harry wakes up in a forest without any memories and has to rely on his instincts to himself and Draco home again.</p>
            </blockquote>





	One Step Forward

**Author's Note:**

> I loved this piece and at first couldn’t imagine it as anything other than what it already was, but after originally dismissing it I kept coming back to look through it again and again... I kept all the dialogue as it was in the poetry, but—obviously—added a bit more. Thanks to d looking through this so quickly for me, for always being there for me.

When Harry wakes up, this is all he knows—his name is Harry. He is lying on the ground with his head against a tree root. He hears a groan and sits up quickly to see who is there. A thin man with pale skin and almost white hair is sitting a few feet away, the man glances at Harry and then around the clearing. Harry does the same; his pulse quickens as he realises he is deep inside a forest, and even if he’s been there often, even if he had the area memorised at one time, at this moment he might as well have been in vast empty nothing. He closes his eyes and it isn’t much different.

Even though somehow he knows those are trees all around him and that is dirt beneath him, everything around him feels like nothingness. He begins to tremble and then he hears the man take a cautious step toward him. He opens his eyes and they stare at each other. How can he be so calm?

‘Hi,’ the pale man says. He hesitates and steps forward again. ‘Hi. My name is Draco.’ He folds his hands waiting for Harry to say something, when he doesn’t Draco continues, ‘Who are you?’

‘I’m Harry,’ he says and stands so that he doesn’t feel as small. It works. Draco is about the same height as Harry and standing in front of him—he isn’t as intimidating. ‘I can’t remember a thing.’ Harry forces himself to laugh. Draco doesn’t seem surprised by the information at all; he just gives a slight nod as he studies Harry. Harry studies him as well. He must not remember anything either, and at that thought Harry’s nerves began to calm. He isn’t alone. There is a reason, an explanation, for what is happening to them. They just need to find it. They are not alone as long as they have each other. 

Quick examination of the clearing shows him that there is only one path out. Harry gestures toward it. ‘Let’s start walking and see what this path will bring.’ 

Draco simply nods again and follows him. He keeps two steps behind Harry and only his breathing gives his presence away. The path twists and turns, narrows then widens, and Harry tries to follow it without making too much noise; but he does, he makes a lot of noise. If there is a branch to step on beneath the scattered leaves, he hits it. He’s cursing himself and can feel Draco’s irritation with each huff of breath; the breaths and huffs turn to groans, growing louder and less restrained. Harry is about to snap at him that he isn’t any quieter with his nonverbal pouting, when it occurs to him they have no real reason to be quiet.

They are not hunting nor are they being hunted. That he is aware of, at least. Their noise has scared off all the smaller animals and they’ve heard nothing to indicate there are any larger animals near by, but his instincts tell him they need to stay quiet. Everything looks the same around him. He has no way to tell one tree apart from another. The sun has dropped and they must have been walking for hours with no sign of anything changing. Hunger isn’t an issue, yet, but thirst is. He stops and listens, but hears nothing to suggest a river is near by.

‘We’re going in circles,’ Draco says as he steps around Harry. ‘It’s my turn to lead.’

The anger—familiar somehow—hits Harry fast. They glare at each other. ‘If you don’t like it,’ Harry snaps at him, ‘stop following me.’ 

‘And leave you alone?’ Draco’s face contorts into a look of disgust as though that is the most idiotic thing Harry could possibly have suggested. Harry admits to himself it was, but his emotions warred with the reasonable side of himself saying that _Draco_ has no right to suggest the obvious. 

There have been no forks in the path for Harry to be leading them in the _wrong_ direction, so it should be obvious to him that Draco would step off it; yet, Harry is surprised. A path suggests an end. Many others—animals, perhaps people—created the path before them. They all must have been going somewhere. Aimlessly in between the trees would leave them with nothing to know where they’d been before.

‘Wait!’ Harry grabs Draco’s arm, before he gets too far away. ‘Give it more time, this path has to lead _somewhere_.’

Draco presses his lips into a thin line and though Harry can’t see it, he is sure he is biting his tongue. Draco glances from Harry’s hand on his arm up to his his eyes. Harry lets him go and holds back an apology. There was no reason for a simple touch to make him blush, but it does. He lets Draco lead, though the path still offers them no choices.

It narrows, it widens, the world grows darker around them.

The wind picks up with a slight howl and Draco stops in front of Harry, making Harry run into him. Draco stopped breathing and Harry takes the hint and holds his breath as well. It was simply the wind, but Harry didn’t have the energy to fight about it. The howl comes again and Draco jumps, grabbing Harry’s arm.

‘What was that?’ asks Draco. His breath is warm against Harry’s face, and his voice wavers. It isn’t the wind, but Harry could tell from the faintness of it the werewolf—or perhaps simply wolf—is far off. It is too dark, even if Draco was looking, to see the blush burning Harry’s face and he is glad. They couldn’t be strangers—Harry and Draco—everything he is feeling is much too strong for this to be the first they’d met.

‘It sounds like a werewolf,’ Harry says, ‘but don’t be alarmed.’

Draco’s fingers dig into Harry’s arm, so Harry pulls it off and threads his fingers through Draco’s. They need to get some place safe and they need to get there fast; they can’t walk all night and if they sleep on the path there is no telling what would find them. He readies himself to run, but he needs light. His hand instinctually finds his wand and it is out and lit, before he thinks about the danger of it.

The howl is much louder this time. 

‘What are you doing?’ Draco’s tone is more scared than angry, and he doesn’t let go of Harry’s hand. ‘Are you trying to lead it here? Can you do nothing without trying to be killed?’

Harry puts the light out and tries to think of what to do. There has to be a spell to help him, but _Nox_ was pure instinct. He doesn’t know any spells; he doesn’t know anything. Shelter, they need, shelter. He raises his wand, trying to trust himself. A half formed spell shoots a dull light a few feet forward and then fades. He tries it again, and this time it forms a line.

‘I know it’s creepy,’ Harry says, ‘but we must be brave.’

The line goes straight where the path curves, but it’s a different kind of path and Harry trusts it. It shimmers instead of glows—Harry feels safe that the werewolf cannot see it, wherever it is—but it gives Harry enough light to run. He pulls Draco behind him and is pleased that Draco has no trouble keeping up.

He loves to run. Harry feels as though this is important. It might be from danger, it might be the adrenaline more than the activity, but he loves this feeling. This feeling of...movement? Achievement? Escaping? Yes, the feeling is escaping. This feeling of escaping makes him feel like himself. 

It is apparent, though Draco is fit and a good runner, he hates it. 

Harry sees the shimmer ending and slows just before they run into a mountain. A rock really. He needs light again and tries to keep it hidden as he searches the area. He sees the mouth of a cave and then werewolf howls again. Draco sees it as well and runs for it, slightly in front of Harry.

He doesn’t let go of Harry’s hand.

They climb the few feet they need to reach the entrance and then they are in. Safe for the moment. Draco slides down the cave wall, sweating and trying to calm his breathing. Harry’s breathing is under much more control. It only takes him a few breaths to bring himself back to his regular pace. Harry looks over Draco’s face—still terrified, eyes full of questions—before he puts out the light and sits next to him.

As Draco’s breathing slows, they listen. It’s quiet as they wait and Draco dozes on Harry’s shoulder. He’s asleep by the time the werewolf finds the cave. It is a werewolf. Harry freezes not making a sound as it sniffs the ground tracking them. He finds a loose rock and looks for a good place to throw it. If he gets the werewolf far enough away from their scent, perhaps he’ll lose it.

Harry eases Draco off his shoulder and to the cave floor and then positions himself against the opposite wall. He pulls his arm back and swings it, but doesn’t release the rock. He isn’t feeling confident. He pulls his wand out and lets his instincts take over again. The light that comes out is brighter than either of the other spells, but it is over the werewolf’s head and in the woods before it takes notice of it.

It took the shape of a buck. Pride fills Harry as he sees it. When the werewolf approaches it, the buck shoots off into the forest with the beats on it tail. Harry watches it, until he can’t see its faint glow any longer. His mind knows how to use his wand, even if it can’t remember why, so he tries to make a bed for Draco.

Apparently, he never used that particular spell much. Upon further examination, the cave’s floor did feel like a bed, but they looked just as it had when they entered the cave. Harry shifted Draco onto the ‘bed’ and lay next to him. They had nothing for him to turn into a blanket, and Harry didn’t particularly trust his skills in that area. He supposed it was warm enough.

What are they? What if they are lovers and this—whatever this is—is to see how compatible they are? Harry knows he has feelings for Draco, but what if Draco learns he feels nothing for Harry? Harry tosses and turns as he tries to drift into sleep.

In the morning, the sun pulls him from the light dream state he spent most the night in. Harry isn’t sure that he ever really went to sleep, but time moves faster when you’re in a dream state. The bright orange sun lights Draco’s face, making Harry desperately wanting to touch him. They couldn’t have been together, because holding back is more natural for him than when he gives in and brushes Draco’s hair off his face.

Sometime during the night, Draco’s head fell off the rock and onto Harry’s arm. It is wrapped about him as Harry traces Draco’s jaw with his finger tips. Draco startles awake at the contact and blinks up at the hand; then up at Harry. The sun is bright to him and he closes his eyes after looking at it. Draco rolls to face him and Harry holds his ground instead of pulling away, ignoring his instincts for once that scream at him to run and hide— _this is too much, this is too dangerous._

Draco’s confusion is obvious, but he doesn’t speak and he doesn’t ask Harry _what is he doing_ , which gives Harry the courage to press his lips against Draco’s. Draco accepts the kiss, but it isn’t what Harry would call kissing back. 

Harry waits a moment, just a breath for Draco to kiss back; when he doesn’t, Harry bolts out of the cave. His chest is tight and it is hard to breath for the emotions he is suppressing are threatening him with tears. So he walks. Not far, but in circles so he can still see the cave. So he can see if Draco comes to look for him. So he can see his way back for when Draco doesn’t.

#

Again, they’ve been walking for hours, when Harry can no longer stand the silence, he asks, ‘What can you remember? I mean other than your name?’

Draco’s jaw clenches and he looks away from Harry.

‘Why do you refuse to talk to me?’

‘I’m not _refusing_ —there simply isn’t anything for us to talk about.’

Harry stops and turns to Draco, forcing him to stop as well. ‘We’re stuck in the middle of a forest alone together; there is plenty we have to talk about.’

‘We’ve done fine without it so far. I mean walking out of the forest is the only possible answer isn’t it?’ The way Draco says it suggests it is not only not the only way, but the most common illogical way to go about it. 

Harry wants to hit him, but it doesn't stop him from wanting to do other things with him. Which is driving him mad. He’d ask Draco those questions—about his feelings, about what he did that morning—but he didn’t want to talk about the kiss anymore than Draco did. He just can't handle the silence anymore.

Draco sighs. ‘What do you want to talk about?’

‘What do you think is going on?’ Harry raises his arms in question. ‘We wake up in the middle of a forest without any idea who we even are. Everything looks the same no matter where we go. The only paths we follow leads to nowhere. I have a wand—I somehow know it is a wand, and that thought isn’t odd to me, even if it feels like it should be odd to me—do you have a wand?’

Draco pulls out his wand.

‘Why haven’t you used it?’ Harry asks angry, again. Why is everything up to him to figure out? All Draco does is complain about it and he is just as equipped to handle it as Harry.

‘I panicked.’

His anger melts with his need to protect him again. He _knows_ he’s protected him before—more than once. It is his responsibility. He can feel it, even if he doesn’t know why. He reaches for Draco’s hand, but stops himself. He sees Draco watching his hand, and Harry runs it through his hair. It makes him suddenly conscious of it and he says, ‘You hate my hair,’ as he remembers it. Not Draco but, once again, the feeling.

‘You remember me?’

‘No, it’s just a feeling like—’ _this morning_ he wants to say, so after a beat he does.

For the first time, Draco looks surprised. 

‘What?’

‘Nothing,’ Draco says and an unreadable expression overcomes his face, ‘nothing’. He starts to walk, but Harry stops him, again.

‘No, it is something. You don’t think that walking out of here is an option—’ Harry holds up a hand to keep Draco from interrupting him. ‘So why aren't you talking? I’m going on my feelings, because I have nothing else to go on here. I don’t know who I am or who you are or where we are, but I know how I feel. My instincts got me the spells I needed when I needed them the most. I know I need to trust myself and—and I know how I feel about you. This isn’t something new; it can’t be.’

Draco stared at the ground and kept his arms crossed in front of him as though they were a shield to keep Harry back. ‘Well, I can tell you with all certainty that all of this _is_ new to me.’

This doesn’t surprise Harry, as he knows he never expressed his feelings before. He steps forward and pulls on Draco’s arm. They aren’t much of a shield and they give easily. Though Draco hesitates, he lets Harry take his hand. It was all Harry planned to do—just hold Draco’s hand—but when their eyes met Harry decides to kiss it as well. Draco doesn’t pull away.

They begin walking again.

‘So, what do we need to do to get out of here?’

Draco says, ‘I don’t know, but what we’ve done so far hasn’t gotten us anywhere.’

‘How do you know? We might be very close, but just not quite there.’

‘I can feel it.’ Draco smirks as he says it.

‘Alright then, how can we figure out for sure?’

It is silent for a breath and then Draco stoops down and picks up a jagged rock. As they come to the nearest tree, he cuts into the bark an ‘x’. Harry leads and Draco marks every tenth or so tree. Harry believed him. He had; about them going in circles. He just hadn’t expected the circles—or rather the circle—to be so _small_. After only a half an hour's walk, they find Draco’s first mark.

So Harry leads them off the path...

Only for half an hour later to find his marks again. Moments later, they find the clearing they woke up in, and five minutes after the cave they slept in. There is no walking out of the forest, and Harry says:

‘It’s a test, but a test for what?’

‘Maybe,’ Draco says, ‘we should prepare to be here for a while.’

Harry nods. They haven’t eaten or drank for the two days they’ve been there, but where he was thirsty before they slept he feels perfectly fine now. He thinks about needing water, trusts himself and then casts a spell. It is the same one that led them to the cave. He follows it and pulls Draco along beside him. They find a pool of water. They drink and Harry is thirstier than he had imagined. After taking Draco back to the cave, he hunts for food.

Really, he scavenges for fruit and nuts, because though he has hunted for animals before, he has no desire to repeat the experience. It will be a last resort for him. It is almost as though the forest can hear his thoughts. It isn’t immediate and he normally has to use one spell or another, but not long after thinking of something he wants he gets it. 

When he gets back, Draco has started a fire.

‘Wow,’ Harry says.

‘I’m not completely useless, you know.’

‘Did you use your wand or do it by hand?’

‘My wand, of course,’ Draco snapped.

And Harry felt all the ground they covered lost. ‘That’s good—that’s great.’ He tries to compensate, but Draco huffs and sits beside the fire not looking at him. ‘I didn’t mean it in a bad way; I was only curious.’ With a sigh, Harry comes and sits next to Draco. ‘Why do you hate me so much? I’ve done nothing—’

‘It’s just a feeling; that I can’t trust you.’

‘What can I do to prove you can?’

It takes a moment, but he answers, ‘I don’t know.’

Harry hands Draco an apple and begins crushing walnuts open with a rock. It is not as easy as he thought it would be. After four failed attempts Harry says, ‘Fuck it.’ He throws the walnut. Draco summons it back to him and then breaks it neatly opened with another spell. He gives it to Harry as he works on the rest. Before he eats it, Harry says, ‘I never thought you were useless.’

‘Well, it feels that way sometimes.’

‘I just...feel like I should be protecting you.’

‘Why?’

‘I can’t remember.’ Harry snorts. ‘Remember?’

Draco nods. ‘Right.’ He splits the nuts into two piles and then takes a bite of one of the apples. ‘These are my favourite, did you know?’

Harry shakes his head. He doesn't know anything, but they were the only apples he found. It was an odd coincidence. Harry smiles as he watches Draco eat. 

‘What?’

‘Nothing,’ Harry says, but then adds, ‘I think I’ve liked you for a long time.’

‘Harry—’

‘Don’t.’ Harry takes a deep breath, calming his nerves. ‘I just think you should know that.’ Then he gets up and walks back into the cave. It is black out—Draco must have put out the fire—before he joins Harry inside. Harry pretends to sleep on the bed-like floor as he listens to Draco move about him.

He takes something and Transfigures, he remembers it is called, it into a blanket—he’s much better at it than Harry is—and covers Harry with it, before he lays down next to Harry and covers himself. Draco’s naked chest brushes against Harry’s arm and Harry slowly begins to get hard. He tries not to move, but it becomes unbearable. He has to shift.

When he does, Draco asks, ‘Do you think we’re stuck here forever?’

‘No, there’s a reason for all of this, and we’ll soon find out it why.’

‘What if we have to find something?’

‘There’s nothing here. We’ve been everywhere.’

‘That’s my point.’

Harry sits up and tries to see Draco’s expression in the dark, but all he can make out is a faint outline made by his hair. ‘Are you giving up?’

Draco shrugs. ‘Sometimes you need to give up and accept things as they are.’

‘I never give up.’

‘Ever?’

He can’t answer the question honestly, because he can’t remember enough about his life. It feels right, though. ‘Never on something important.’ 

Draco’s hand brushes Harry’s face, and Harry leans into it kissing the air as it drops away. He falls with it, but catches himself. When his erection presses against Draco, Draco doesn’t pull away and he doesn’t push Harry away. So Harry searches for Draco’s mouth with his own, and when they meet Draco kisses back. Harry presses harder against him and opens his mouth to accept Draco’s tongue when he shoves Harry off him. 

‘What was that?’

Breathing hard Harry answers, ‘A kiss.’

‘No.’ Draco jumps up and takes the blanket, quickly turning it back into a shirt and buttoning it up as he walks to the mouth of the cave. ‘What was that noise? It sounds like people talking.’ They are quiet as they listen. ‘It _is_ people talking, Harry, hurry.’

‘Don’t run out there; you don’t know if we can trust them.’

Harry is up in a beat and chasing Draco, but as soon as Harry sees them and their faces light up in recognition he slows. They’re safe, as far as he can tell. 

‘There you are!’ a woman clearly relieved to see him says.

A gangly red-hair man says, ‘Finally!’

And then a man older than the rest, smiles and comes to shake both their hands, while talking quickly. ‘You’ve completed the task. You’ve passed the Auror test. Congratulations, lads!’

‘Who are all these people,’ Draco says with a smile, ‘making this fuss?’ The woman comes up to him and hugs him then pinches his arm.

‘I don’t know,’ says Harry, ‘but they seem to know us.’ Harry tries to stay close to Draco, but the red-haired man stands between them and pats Harry on the back. Then another woman flings herself into Harry’s arms. He hugs her back feeling as though it is natural, but the look Draco gives him fills him with guilt. Is she is girlfriend? Or possibly wife? Is she—or the woman holding Draco’s hand—the reason that Harry never confessed his feelings before?

They are pulled through a clearing that wasn’t there before and appear in a building. The red-haired man pulls Harry in one direction as the others take Draco in the opposite; but before they leave the room—during the confusion and everyone talking—the red-haired man pulls out his wand.

‘Oh, I forgot,’ he says and he hits Harry with a spell. What is Ron doing? Ron! He hugs Ron and then Hermione again, glad to see them as his memories free themselves. He sees no individual memories, but is all at once aware. He glances to the other group, to Draco who is studying him in silence, and walks toward them.

‘You,’ Harry says, ‘I can’t believe it.’

Draco’s face hardens. ‘Save it.’ He walks away before Harry can say anything further with Pansy quick to follow him peppering him with what-happeneds and what’s-going-ons.

#

They were never partners, so Harry can’t figure out why they had their final test done together. He can’t even figure out what their final test was. To survive without memory in a forest? How was that useful? Was it to trust their instincts or to work together? Why it happened doesn’t plague Harry as much as Draco’s refusal to even look at him.

Since they passed, they work in the same department. That hadn’t seen as much of each other during training being is different groups most of the time. But there, in the office, with nothing separating any of the desks, Harry can see him no matter where he stands.

And Draco works all of the time. With his head bend over a parchment scribbling over something or another, or perking up every time the head Auror comes out of his office to hand out a case. Harry’s desk is behind Draco’s, so he also has to watch him walk up to meet the head Auror whenever he _is_ called into his office.

It is going to kill him.

‘It’s affecting your work,’ Hermione says.

‘It isn’t.’

‘Well,’ Ron says, ‘it’s affecting your mental stability.’

He simply glares at Ron.

‘Mate, just tell him.’

Harry buries his head in his arms. ‘I already told him.’ That is what is making this so difficult. Draco hates him. Not his body or his mind or his personality, but _him_ and their history together. Knowing that in a different world they’d have a possible future makes it worse.

‘Harry.’ Hermione sighs as though she has to explain something that really needs no explanation at all. ‘You told him before you knew who he was. Neither of you have spoken since...’

Perhaps they’re right, so a week later, when Harry finds himself alone in a hallway with Draco he stops him. ‘Do you mind if we talk?’

Draco stares at the floor, but doesn’t walk away.

‘I miss you so much.’

It makes Draco look at him and answer, ‘Just for a moment, Potter. I must get back to work.’

‘Can we...try to go back to where we were?’

‘And where was that?’

Harry exhales exasperated. He really should have prepared a speech, but decides he is better at showing than talking and leans toward him. ‘Maybe, I can jog your memory?’ He kisses him, and for the briefest of moments Draco kisses him back. Draco jumps away and then Harry hears the footsteps, startling him. A few of Ministry workers pass them deep in their own conversation.

‘We can’t do this.’

‘Why?’ Harry asks. ‘Are you seeing anyone?’

‘No—’

‘Are you not out?’

‘Please, I’ve been out since I was twelve.’

‘Then why not?’

‘We work together—’

Harry sighs and runs a hand through his hair. ‘We aren’t partners...’

‘But we still work together. What if we don’t work out and have to see each other everyday?’

‘I’d imagine it would be much like how it is right now. You avoiding me and me unable to stop thinking about you.’

That causes Draco to smirk. ‘What if you’re the one to leave me?’ Their eyes meet and Draco cuts Harry’s rebuttal off. ‘Potter, I’ve worked too hard for this. It’s important to me and if this goes pear-shaped or anyone thinks our relationship is interfering with our work, I’d be the one that’d have to go. And don’t try to reason with me out of it, you know it’s true.’

At that, Draco walks away.

Harry fears he is right, and this is why any meeting with the Head Auror causes his stomach to tie in knots. If _Ron_ can tell that Harry is getting lost in an obsession, Harry knows everyone else has known for a while. So the simple, ‘Let’s have lunch, Harry’, he receives the next day puts him on edge all morning.

‘There’s no need to be nervous,’ Head Auror Thompson says as they exit their department. ‘I take all the Aurors out to lunch to get to know them a little better.’

‘Ah, but generally with their partners.’

‘And sometimes alone.’ He laughs. ‘How else would they be able to tell me how they like working with their partners?’

Harry forces a smile. ‘Well, Ron’s my best mate and we work well together. No worries there.’

‘Right. Your choice on lunch.’

‘I don’t really know the area.’

‘We’ve magic, Harry. We have the entire world.’

This doesn’t make the decision any easier. ‘I don’t really know restaurants.’ 

They find a nearby pub and once their food orders are in Thompson gets to the point. ‘Your partner says there is something on your mind, and thinks you want to ask me something. Why don’t we talk about that?’

‘Oh.’ Harry thinks of the best way to word it. ‘What, um, was the point of our final tasks? I mean. I don’t feel like I really did anything...and—’

‘And why Malfoy?’ Thompson chuckles. ‘Weasley asked me that over and over again while you were out. Why Malfoy? Of all the people? Why Malfoy?’ He takes a sip of water before he answers, ‘I placed Malfoy with you for his test just as much as yours. You know I’ve never had anyone question my decisions as much as I have from everyone about this one Auror.

‘It’s quite humorous as the answer is so obvious to anyone who gives it a bit of thought. Why did I allow Malfoy into the Auror program? Simple. I’d have been a fool not to. It is not him who is lucky to have us; it is us who is lucky to have him. I get application after application of fit young men wanting to protect people with their wands or their brawn, but very few that want to use their minds.

‘Why isn’t Malfoy doing field work? Because he didn’t ask for it nor did I hire him for it. Boys with his NEWT results go to St. Mungo’s or The Department of Mysteries. They don’t ask to be Hit Wizards or Aurors. Yes, you have to have brains to be an Auror, but I’ve never had to turn anyone away because of trouble with defensive spells.’

‘But—’

‘Why you? Malfoy had an unhealthy preoccupation with you. He’d cast a spell perfectly ten times in a row and you’d walk in—and he couldn’t do one half as simple. And you, when he was in the room, you instantly began to show off—’

‘I nev—’

Thompson holds up a hand to stop him, so Harry shuts his mouth. In light of what he knows now, perhaps he did try to get Malfoy’s attention occasionally.

‘Malfoy has a problem with trying to be the best and as you _are_ the best, it causes problems. I don’t want problems in my department. I never would have not allowed him in, but I might have had to create a job with an office to keep him away from you. His test was to trust you—to let you lead and figure it out without his help. Your test was to be honest with him.

‘I gave you the advantage of not knowing your history, in hopes it would make you more open to work with him and from what I see it worked—not quite how I pictured it, but worked.’

Harry blushed. ‘You know...that.’

‘I don’t care if you date, if that was the question you wanted to ask me.’

‘It was one of them, but it doesn’t matter anyway. Draco doesn’t want to risk it. If we don’t work out, what happens at work?’

‘You mean, if you can’t stand the sight of each other? You’re not partners for a reason. I can always find an office. We can shuffle hours around. Work romances happen.’ Thompson laughs again. ‘All the time they happen; you didn’t think we’d fire you, did you?’

‘Not really.’ Harry shrugs. ‘Just, why did it release us when it did? Nothing was different then than it had been from the start. He let me lead the whole time and I was honest with him the whole time...’

‘Doing what you’re told and real trust are different things...he let you lead no matter how much it bothered him, because he knew he had to. You were released when he put his trust in you, even for a moment.’

‘Wait,’ Harry says, ‘how could he have been following orders without memories?’

‘He had his memories, of course.’

Harry can’t believe it.

‘If he told you otherwise, it was on orders. He was not allowed to help you, but to follow you.’

Yet, Draco was the one who refused to talk. ‘What would have happened if we never figured it out? Was there a time limit or something?’

‘Draco knew how to get out. All you had to do was for the both of you to say: I give up.’

#

The next time he sees Draco, that is how Harry starts the conversation.

‘I give up.’ Not in question or sorrow, but with an angry bite to it.

‘What?’ Draco stops just outside the Auror department.

‘You were trying to make us fail!’

‘Why would I want to fail?’

‘Why did you start a conversation on giving up?’

Draco tries to push past Harry. ‘You’re the one who wanted to talk.’

‘You had your memories the whole time!’

They stand, staring at each other. Draco has nothing to say to that, and remembering what got them out Harry says, ‘The kiss was the pass.’

Draco’s eyes met his. 

‘Thompson says they aren’t going to fire us if we date. They won’t fire us if we break up. If we can’t work together, then we won’t work together. We aren’t really working together now.’ Then he moves away from the door to let Draco enter, when he doesn’t move he opens the door for himself.

But Draco grabs his arm. ‘Why did you tell me that?’

‘I thought you’d want to know.’ Harry lets the door fall closed again. ‘You don’t have to worry about losing your job if you can’t get along with me.’

‘Does that mean you’re still interested?’

‘It means...I’m really angry with you right now...but give me a few days to calm down; maybe a few more to remember how much I miss you and yes.’

#

The morning after the first night Draco allows him to stay over, Harry wakes up to Draco watching him sleep.

‘Hi,’ Harry says.

‘Hi.’

It is strange to be nervous about kissing again, after doing it with such frequency the last few days; but Harry is nervous. This is a step and Draco doesn’t respond well to steps forward. He tends to push back. Harry wipes his mouth.

‘Was I drooling?’

‘Am I kicking you out of my bed?’ Draco laughs as he says it. ‘No, you aren’t, weren’t. I was just looking.’

Happy, Harry gives Draco a kiss, and says, ‘I’ll be right back.’ Draco fell asleep long before Harry could the night before, and Harry spent a couple hours baking and learning his way around Draco’s kitchen in the process. He skipped down the stairs and quickly made some scrambled eggs while he put together a few of the things he’d made the night before on a tray.

Draco’s eyes light up when Harry comes back in the room. ‘Where did you get all this?’

‘I made it.’

‘In ten minutes?’ Draco grabs a muffin and starts in on it right away.

‘No,’ Harry says, ‘I wasn’t able to fall asleep right away. So, last night—’

Draco isn’t good at reassuring Harry, so he isn’t surprised that Draco deflects Harry’s anxieties with, ‘Did you do all this naked?’

‘Well, I couldn’t find my clothes.’ Harry smiles and rolls his eyes. Draco wants him there, he does. He’d tell him, if he didn’t. But just to be sure he asks, ‘Aren’t you glad I stayed over?’

‘I’m thrilled, Potter.’ Draco says it as seriously as one can with a mouth full of food. He swallows and says, ‘Really; in fact, let me say that—’ he leans over and lets their lips brush against each other. ‘I’d like to wake up next to you...every day.’

Draco presses his lips against Harry’s. 

It’s another first. All the other times Harry kissed him.

Another step forward without Draco pulling back.

**Author's Note:**

> Leave your comment for the author here or on [Livejournal](http://hd-remix.livejournal.com/66177.html). ♥


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